Rating: 3/5, average
Trigger warning: depression
The author posted a link to this book in a Jewish Goth Facebook group I’m in, and the topic of being Orthodox Jewish and a transgender man interested me so much I bought the book right away and started reading it as soon as it came in.
As Long as I’m Still Breathing is a 75-page memoir broken up into seven chapters of first-person past-tense prose and free verse poetry. It delves into Avraham’s struggles with depression and how transitioning to male and converting to Judaism helped give him the strength to stay alive. It tells the story of how he converted to Judaism and his experiences with different Jewish communities.
I really appreciated reading about Avraham’s experience because I don’t know of any other books about trans men who are Jewish.
It was a little hard to piece together the timeline of Avraham’s four conversions. The Reform conversion before moving to Israel was a little bit confusing because it was only mentioned in retrospect. It seems to go:
- Initial conversion at Orthodox synagogue #1
- Conversion at Orthodox synagogue #2 because the first one wasn’t considered halachic (not sure why)
- Reform conversion when immigrating to Israel (because he said it’s easier for Reform Jews to immigrate)
- Conversion on entering yeshiva #3
Avraham started his conversion as a nonbinary person with a Reform rabbi. He tried to go back in the closet and be an Orthodox woman, but it was too painful and he felt drawn to Orthodox Jewish theology and practice so he finished his first conversion with an Orthodox rabbi as a trans man.
Continue reading “As Long as I’m Still Breathing: Becoming a Transgender Orthodox Jew by Avraham Kolenski”